closet-phobic

Finally finished unpacking......so good to see the house is no longer cluttered by boxes. But as I enjoy my clean and neat home, I noticed that all of the closets, including the one in the guest room are full, mostly with my clothes, purses and belts.


And what about my baby and hubby's clothes you might ask......well.....all of my baby's clothes and stuffs fit into 2 medium size plastic drawers which i placed right next to his bathing station, to make it easier for me, when changing time comes. My husband's, well like most men, he doesn't really have to many clothes. His clothes only require 1/4 of the shared closet space, even that is too much space.


So again I sat down and started thinking why do I have so many clothes, purses and belts. Again? yes, again. Because every time we have move, I stared with amazement, how is it I can collect so many stuffs. And this time I realized I have more stuffs than ever.

Now, the ironic part is that I bought most of those in Riyadh, where in daily life, women must wear Abaya when going outside their house or compound. Abaya is a long over garment essentially a robe-like dress (wikipedia). So it doesn't matter what you wear inside, heck, you can even go naked and no one would know. But still, the sale sign was just to good to be ignored. And when they're having sale, they're having SALE.....I was so good at finding good bargain even a lot of the women who live there longer than me was amazed that I can find such a good bargain. For instance I found Next working shirt with beautiful ruffles on the chest only for 35 SAR (9 USD), or Express gold purse for 10 SAR (2,5 USD) or H&M dress pants for 24 SAR (6 USD). So with that kind of bargain, you might understand why it was hard for me not to buy them.

Of course I bought all of those before I have my baby, now a lot of the clothes especially the pants don't fit anymore, but I just can't bear being apart with them so quickly, hoping that after breast feeding, I can mustered enough discipline and will power to do exercises and healthy diet, so that I can fit in those pants again. And of course I also can't bear being parted from my Express faux leather jacket and my Charles & Keith black boots. Now in Indonesia, I don't need those two things but since I took me forever to find the right style and price for those items, I'm not planning to parted from them in the near future.

Looking at my closet, I realize that for every purchase I had some kind of "logical" explanation. From "I need it for my work" to "that would just be perfect to wear on a hot summer day by the beach". I'm sure I'm not the only one who did this.


So for all the ladies (or men) who have the same "problem" as me, give me a shout!





P.S. : Next time maybe I'll blog about my obsession with DVDs

Birthday celebration or competition?

About 2 weeks ago, there's a small article on the national papers about the big birthday bash thrown by a famous business man and his "singer" wife for their daughter's 1st birthday. The celebration was held in on of the 5 stars hotel in Jakarta, the rumor goes that they spent 1 billion rupiah (115.000 USD) for the party. After reading that for that party not only they ordered one of the expensive menu set, they also rented one whole floor of the hotel for families and friends to stay one night, i believe the rumor.

And the sad thing for me, is not that the fact the spent money that could feed a family for decades, but the fact that that news doesn't surprise me anymore. It doesn't mean that i condone this behavior and every time it happens i still wonder why on earth would they do that, but blowing big money for a party that the subject of the party doesn't even get to enjoy yet, is something more more common, here in Indonesia.

The news reminded me, few years ago my parent was invited for one year old birthday party, YES, you read it right for one year old! The invitation came under my parent name not under my nephew name even though he's also about the same age. The reason for the invite, the grandparent of the birthday boy is a friend of my parent, granted my parent don't really know the parent of the kid let alone the kid himself. The party was held in one of the five star hotel in Surabaya. Since my parent couldn't made it, so they sent me instead. As expected the party was a huge one, clowns on every corner of the hall, making balloon animals, juggling balls, doing magic tricks; a bouncy castle in the corner of the hall, never ending flow of food (the expensive menu not kiddy menu) and beverages, adults, including the parent of the boy, dress to the nine (yes, we are still at one yrs old bday party), gift piling high to the roof (literally) on the other corner of the hall, a 1 meter birthday cake on the other corner. The medieval theme decoration was stunningly beautiful. Every guest was given a big desk clock as a thank you gift. So was the little boy enjoying the party?....No one really knew...he was, accompanied by the nanny, asleep from the start of the party till almost the end, at his miniature "throne" on the stage. I didn't even know the kid name, not while i was in the party and not now. So the question is who's the party for? the kid or the parent?

As the question popped in my head, my 3 yrs old nephew, coming home from his pre-kiddie school, came in the house and immediately showed me his new t-shirt, lunch box set and a mug, each has some kind of name and a photo print on them. I asked where did he get them. He said it was a tq gift from one of his classmate. Turn out that one his classmate, a girl, was celebrating her 4th bday at the school. At first i wasn't very surprise, seeing all the goodies that she's given, because its customary here in Indonesia. When you are having a birthday party for your kids, the tq gift usually are personalize with the name of the birthday girl or boy. Even the simple goodies bag, which usually filled wit candies and snacks, has their name on them. But the different this time is that each of the t-shirt has the birthday girl name on the front, and on the back is personalize more with the recipient name. Also when i saw the lunch box set, i can see that it was not your dollar store set, it was the expensive ones. And of course since the bday girl's parent already spent a lot of money for her bday, you have to know her face, so they put her photo on the mug.

I wonder by the time all of those kids hit 5 yrs old what would they remember from this, will they remember that their parent spent a lot of money and probably time for they bday party? And if the parent already give such a lavish party when their were young, what kind of party would they asked when they hit 17 (in Indonesia we celebrate sweet seventeen not sixteen)?

I also remembered reading blogs from mommies, complaining that throwing a birthday party is longer as simple as, getting a cake, put up some balloon and cute pictures. It has become a big competition. It's hard not to, even if as a mom you can ignored how expensive or lavish the other kids parties are, but your kid might not. Imagine the kid in your son class who just happened to have his birthday 3 day before him, got a great party, complete with petting zoo, clowns, bouncy castle, magician and even a live professional singer, what do you think your son gonna say when you told him:" for this year birthday, you can invite all of your classmates, and well have a cake, some chicken nuggets and cupcakes."

Well, i just hope i can teach my son to be wise enough, that it's not the party or the cake that matters, it's the love of the people around him that's most important.




 

Children Learn What They Live

Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
 

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
 

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
 

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
 

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
 

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
 

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
 

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
 

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
 

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
 

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
 

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
 

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
 

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
 

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
 

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
 

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Comfort Food

What is comfort food?

For me, comfort food is food that makes you feel good, safe, comfortable, happy and homey.

There are several food in my life that I consider as comfort food.  My mum chicken and pork steam rice is perfect after a hard day at the school or at the office, the rice reminds me that no matter how bad everything is I can always count on my mother's love.

When my body doesn't feel so good or it's midnite and i;m hungry, my hubby's warm sweet oatmeal makes me feel his hugs and love.

There are some other food but I think for now thats enough......so tell me, share with me: What Is Your Comfort Food???

Kacamata Kuda

Hari senin kemaren saya kebetulan mesti pulang kampung buat ngurus beberapa surat. Gak sengaja saya memperhatikan Delman, yang masi di pake di kota2 kecil di tempat saya sbg alat transport. Saya sempet merasa kasian ama kuda nya krn kacamata yg di pasangin di samping masing2 mata kuda tsb jadi bikin ribet, sampe kepala nya kudu miring2 biar bisa liat. Tapi saya jg mengerti kalo gak di kasi kacamata maka kuda itu bakal mudah terpecah perhatiannya, yg notabene bisa bikin semua yg ada di delman terancam bahaya.
Saya jadi inget omongan salah satu guru SD saya, dia bilang "Kalian nanti kalo udah gede jgn pasang kacamata kuda di hati dan pikiran kalian, buka pikiran dan hati!" Pertama kali denger cuman melongo krn gak ngerti. Skr saya jd ngerti apa yg di maksud dr kalimat itu. Karena byk org yg memasang "kacamata kuda" ke diri nya sendiri, dng membiarkan diri nya berpikiran sempit dan menolak mentah2 pendapat org lain yg berbeda dgn pikirinannya. Ada jg org2 yg membiarkan dirinya di kasi kacamata kuda oleh negara dan lingkungan. Contoh org2 yg dikasi kacamata kuda oleh negara adl org2 Korea Utara yg menolak mentah2 pemikiran2 lain selain dr Presidennya.

So temen2 mau pilih yg mana?

Words of Wisdom???

1. Ir. Soekarno, Indonesia first president : In a revolution, a father taking his own son life is normal

 

2. Soeharto, Indonesia second president : Whoever try to defy me, will be beaten.

 

3. Abdurrahman Wahid (Gus Dur), Indonesia fourth president : I'm waiting for the action of the government, and if they meddle to much in people's affair, then we have no choice but to encourage people not to vote anymore. 

 

4. Megawati Soekarnoputri, Indonesia fifth president : The Prophet is a leader and he didnt have a university degree.

 

5. Mark Twain, writer : I don't like fighting, so i have an enemy, i will forgive him, and then take him to a very quiet spot and then kill him.

 

6. Ann Landers,columnis : One in every four people is having a mental problem, so if you know 3 people who are sane, it could only means that you are the one with mental problem.

 

7. Zsa Zsa Gabor, Actress : I'm a great house keeper, everytime i left a man i got to keep his house.

 

8. Henry Ford, Ford Motor owner : Thinking is the hardert job in the world, that's why very few people are willing to use their brains.

 

9. Alexander Dumas the Younger, Businessman : Doing business? its very easy, just use other people's money. 

 

10. Angie Dickinson, Actress : I put on clothes for women to see, and take them of for men to see.

 

11. Albert Einstein, Scientist : Understanding taxes are the harderst thing to do in the world.

 

12. Samuel Goldwyn, Movie Producer : I don't like having "Yes-man" around me. I want people to tell me the truth, of course i have to fire them after that. We paid to much for them, and unfortunately they deserve it.

 

13. Roberto Goizueta, Coca Cola CEO : Our enemies are coffee, milk, tea and water.

 

14. John Paul Getty, Billionaire : If you owe the bank 100 dollar, you'll have a headache. But if you owe the bank 100 million dollar, its bank that will have the headache.

 

15. Herbert Hoover, 31st US president : Rejoice my fellow young generation, because it's you that have to pay the country's debt.

 

16. AnatoleFrance, Penulis :Buku sejarah yang tidak mengandung kebohongan pastilah sangat membosankan.

 

17. Woody Allen,Sutradara Film :Ternyata bertemu penjual asuransi jiwa adalah lebih buruk daripada kematian itu sendiri.

 

18. T.S. Eliot,Penulis :Pemulis yang masih muda, meniru. Penulis yang sudah berpengalaman, mencuri ide.

 

19. Agatha Christie, Novelis Misteri :Kolektor barang antik adalah suami yang paling baik, karena semakin tua istrinya, semakin ia mencintainya.

 

20. Alfred Hitchcock, Sutradara Film Misteri :Saya tidak pernah bilang bahwa para aktor adalah sapi. Saya hanya bilang mereka harus diperlakukan seperti sapi.

 

21. Alan King, Comedian : If you want to read books about love and sex, then you have to read to different books.

 

22. AnatoleFrance, writer : Don't ever lend your books if you still want to own them. The books in my library all came from other people's library.

 

23. Voltaire, Filoshopher : When talking about money, everybody share the same religion.

 

24. D.H. Lawrence, Poet : From work we have money, from money we have more money, from more money we have fierce competition, from fierce competition we have the world that we are living noe.

 

25. Lyndon B. Johnson, 36th US president : When 2 people constantly agreeing in everything, it means only one of them is thinking.

 

26. Robert Neville, Actor : Living with a saint is more tiring than being a saint itself.

 

27. Charles de Gaulle, France first president : Politician never trust their own words, that why they always look surprise when people trust their words.

Gomi Shopping

Tinggal di developed country macam Korsel, Jepang, negara2 Eropa, kadang sering bikin dompet bokek dng cpt, krn harga2 biasanya berlipat2 dr developing country macam Indonesia, China, dll. Harga2 yg mahal di karenakan tingginya ongkos tenaga kerja shg ongkos produksi nya jd jadi ikut tinggi.

Nah krn ongkos tenaga kerja tinggi, seringnya memperbaiki barang lebih mahal drpd beli baru………fenomena ini lah yg mau saya bahas diblog kali ini. Saya mau tulis tentang Gomi Shopping.

Gomi adl bhs Jepangnya buat sampah. Istilah gomi shopping di ciptakan oleh org2 asing yg tinggal di Jepang di awal tahun 90an saat Jepang lg on top of the world. Selain tinggi nya ongkos tenaga kerja, ekonomi yg lg booming dan jg budaya dimana mereka merasa second hand goods itu kotor dan tidak suci lg. Semua hal itu jd bikin org Jepang gampang bgt buang barang. Hubby cerita, pertama kali dia tinggal di Jepang 80% barang di apt nya adalah hasil gomi shopping, dia bahkan berulang kali nemu barang2 yg masi baru gres, misal dia pernah nemu toaster oven yg masi gres di kotaknya yg dibuang ama pemiliknya krn ada goresan kecil di permukaan oven, blum lg lemari2 baju gede, sepeda, bahkan sekali waktu hubby nemu kulkas yg masi ok cuman agak kotor dikit.

Dulu ketika masi dating, kalo hubby cerita soal gomi shopping saya cuman bisa manggut2 sambil mencoba membayangkan. Skr tinggal di salah satu developed country, saya mengalami sendiri. Awalnya ketika lg buang sampah di TPA kompleks gak sengaja liat spring bed ukuran queen size yg masi mulus di buang oleh salah satu penghuni apt yg lg mau pindah. Saya cuman melongo, lgs pulang manggil suami n jg ambil center krn itu udah mlm. Tyt di TPA ada macem2 barang mulai dr spring bed, kursi sofa, speaker set gede yg biasanya di pake di tempat karaoke, barang2 dapur, jaket2 n baju2. Lgs deh dgn center di tangan dan semangat 45, kita berdua bongkar n liat barang yang bisa kita pake lg. Aduh kalo gak inget kalo apt sempit mungkin semua barang udah kita angkut abis.........

Gimana gak melongo stl kita cek tyt spring bed yg dibuang itu masi bagus......inget di rumah dulu pas kecil krn ortu blum ada duit kita pake kasur busa yg selalu anjlok stl bbrp bulan, trus liat speaker gede itu jg inget dulu di KMK kalo mau ada acara kudu minjem sound system kanan kiri, trus nemu baju2 yg masi bagus2 jd inget pembantu dirumah yg kalo dikasi baju bekas mama senengnya minta ampun...ini baju masi keren2 kotor aja gak di buang........aduh pgn rasanya ambil semua trus kirim ke Indonesia. Blum lg lemari2 baju mulai yg dr plastik smp yg dr kayu. Gemes abis.......saya smp ngomong ke hubby....Tuhan itu maha adil deh.....soalnya kalo kita berdua tinggal di rumah gede kyk di Sby pasti semua barang itu kita angkut deh.....yah krn apt cuman seuprit jg kudu bener2 milih.

Akhirnya stl milih dgn stg mati dan dgn gak rela, kita pulang dgn 2 jaket, meja rias, cup keramik guede buat tempat bolpen (foto), beberapa keranjang rotan buat naruh buah. Dgn bener2 hati gak rela kita kudu ninggal kursi sofa yg masi bagus n spring bed nya.....hiks hiks.........