Children....................they are life's honest mirror. From them you can tell a lot about what kind of parent they have, because children never lie. And i'm not just talking about what children said literally but mostly about how their reaction, behavior and attitude on a lot of things in life.
I got this conclusion long ago while I was working in early education field. I saw more than my fair share of these cases. All the books and experts quote that said, you can't expect a child to do what you said and not what you do, are right on the money. For them, your words are the last effecting edge. And if you say something that contradict your action, your children will be very confuse and started to rebel against you. For example, i know a lady who like to brag about every thing she own or bought, from her newest car to her new toe ring, but when she caught her daughter bragging to her classmate about the new toy she got, she was scolded. So, her daughter started acting out and throwing tantrum when the mother is around. In the little girl eyes her mother is punishing her for doing exactly the same thing like her mother, and it's very confusing for a child to get her head around that.
Parents are children first model for everything..........whatever the parent do that's the norm for children. If the parent yell at each other all the time, then when the children started to socialize outside their home, they will get confuse why people don't like it when they yell to other people. For them home and parent are their most important school and teacher, and unlike formal school where we learn from listening and watching teachers explained to us about different things. Children learn from picking the parent attitude and habits. Case and point, I used to know a lady who love reading books, not surprisingly both of her sons, also started to pick up books and read before they even know how to read books, another lady, I knew like spending time in front the TV watching Soap Operas and gossip shows, again, not surprisingly her daughter thinks books is boring and watching TV is the best activity. Children started to mimic and imitated parent behavior and mirror them back to us.
So next time before forcing and poking your little one to eat vegetables or dragging them to join the school soccer team. First check your attitude toward it. Do you cringe or even say it out loud to other people how you hate the smell of broccoli or do you complain that you got sunburn last time you watched your son soccer game. Even when you think they are not listening or watching,subtle behavior, like pouting and sighing your breath when someone mention a certain food or activity, will be pick up by the children. Trust me when i say, saying stuffs like: "Honey, broccoli is good for your health" or "sweetheart, joining the soccer team is great for your body, you'll get to exercise and breath fresh open air", are useless, unless you back it up with real positive attitude.
I know parent are human too, and as human we are definitely not perfect. We are also shaped by our parent who in their imperfectness, embedded us with ideas and attitude on certain things. Just be ready with explanation when we do slip or made mistakes, cause chances are that they will ask why is it that they are force to eat broccoli when you said to your friend that you hate the smell of it.
I got this conclusion long ago while I was working in early education field. I saw more than my fair share of these cases. All the books and experts quote that said, you can't expect a child to do what you said and not what you do, are right on the money. For them, your words are the last effecting edge. And if you say something that contradict your action, your children will be very confuse and started to rebel against you. For example, i know a lady who like to brag about every thing she own or bought, from her newest car to her new toe ring, but when she caught her daughter bragging to her classmate about the new toy she got, she was scolded. So, her daughter started acting out and throwing tantrum when the mother is around. In the little girl eyes her mother is punishing her for doing exactly the same thing like her mother, and it's very confusing for a child to get her head around that.
Parents are children first model for everything..........whatever the parent do that's the norm for children. If the parent yell at each other all the time, then when the children started to socialize outside their home, they will get confuse why people don't like it when they yell to other people. For them home and parent are their most important school and teacher, and unlike formal school where we learn from listening and watching teachers explained to us about different things. Children learn from picking the parent attitude and habits. Case and point, I used to know a lady who love reading books, not surprisingly both of her sons, also started to pick up books and read before they even know how to read books, another lady, I knew like spending time in front the TV watching Soap Operas and gossip shows, again, not surprisingly her daughter thinks books is boring and watching TV is the best activity. Children started to mimic and imitated parent behavior and mirror them back to us.
So next time before forcing and poking your little one to eat vegetables or dragging them to join the school soccer team. First check your attitude toward it. Do you cringe or even say it out loud to other people how you hate the smell of broccoli or do you complain that you got sunburn last time you watched your son soccer game. Even when you think they are not listening or watching,subtle behavior, like pouting and sighing your breath when someone mention a certain food or activity, will be pick up by the children. Trust me when i say, saying stuffs like: "Honey, broccoli is good for your health" or "sweetheart, joining the soccer team is great for your body, you'll get to exercise and breath fresh open air", are useless, unless you back it up with real positive attitude.
I know parent are human too, and as human we are definitely not perfect. We are also shaped by our parent who in their imperfectness, embedded us with ideas and attitude on certain things. Just be ready with explanation when we do slip or made mistakes, cause chances are that they will ask why is it that they are force to eat broccoli when you said to your friend that you hate the smell of it.
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