About 2 weeks ago, there's a small article on the national papers about the big birthday bash thrown by a famous business man and his "singer" wife for their daughter's 1st birthday. The celebration was held in on of the 5 stars hotel in Jakarta, the rumor goes that they spent 1 billion rupiah (115.000 USD) for the party. After reading that for that party not only they ordered one of the expensive menu set, they also rented one whole floor of the hotel for families and friends to stay one night, i believe the rumor.
And the sad thing for me, is not that the fact the spent money that could feed a family for decades, but the fact that that news doesn't surprise me anymore. It doesn't mean that i condone this behavior and every time it happens i still wonder why on earth would they do that, but blowing big money for a party that the subject of the party doesn't even get to enjoy yet, is something more more common, here in Indonesia.
The news reminded me, few years ago my parent was invited for one year old birthday party, YES, you read it right for one year old! The invitation came under my parent name not under my nephew name even though he's also about the same age. The reason for the invite, the grandparent of the birthday boy is a friend of my parent, granted my parent don't really know the parent of the kid let alone the kid himself. The party was held in one of the five star hotel in Surabaya. Since my parent couldn't made it, so they sent me instead. As expected the party was a huge one, clowns on every corner of the hall, making balloon animals, juggling balls, doing magic tricks; a bouncy castle in the corner of the hall, never ending flow of food (the expensive menu not kiddy menu) and beverages, adults, including the parent of the boy, dress to the nine (yes, we are still at one yrs old bday party), gift piling high to the roof (literally) on the other corner of the hall, a 1 meter birthday cake on the other corner. The medieval theme decoration was stunningly beautiful. Every guest was given a big desk clock as a thank you gift. So was the little boy enjoying the party?....No one really knew...he was, accompanied by the nanny, asleep from the start of the party till almost the end, at his miniature "throne" on the stage. I didn't even know the kid name, not while i was in the party and not now. So the question is who's the party for? the kid or the parent?
As the question popped in my head, my 3 yrs old nephew, coming home from his pre-kiddie school, came in the house and immediately showed me his new t-shirt, lunch box set and a mug, each has some kind of name and a photo print on them. I asked where did he get them. He said it was a tq gift from one of his classmate. Turn out that one his classmate, a girl, was celebrating her 4th bday at the school. At first i wasn't very surprise, seeing all the goodies that she's given, because its customary here in Indonesia. When you are having a birthday party for your kids, the tq gift usually are personalize with the name of the birthday girl or boy. Even the simple goodies bag, which usually filled wit candies and snacks, has their name on them. But the different this time is that each of the t-shirt has the birthday girl name on the front, and on the back is personalize more with the recipient name. Also when i saw the lunch box set, i can see that it was not your dollar store set, it was the expensive ones. And of course since the bday girl's parent already spent a lot of money for her bday, you have to know her face, so they put her photo on the mug.
I wonder by the time all of those kids hit 5 yrs old what would they remember from this, will they remember that their parent spent a lot of money and probably time for they bday party? And if the parent already give such a lavish party when their were young, what kind of party would they asked when they hit 17 (in Indonesia we celebrate sweet seventeen not sixteen)?
I also remembered reading blogs from mommies, complaining that throwing a birthday party is longer as simple as, getting a cake, put up some balloon and cute pictures. It has become a big competition. It's hard not to, even if as a mom you can ignored how expensive or lavish the other kids parties are, but your kid might not. Imagine the kid in your son class who just happened to have his birthday 3 day before him, got a great party, complete with petting zoo, clowns, bouncy castle, magician and even a live professional singer, what do you think your son gonna say when you told him:" for this year birthday, you can invite all of your classmates, and well have a cake, some chicken nuggets and cupcakes."
Well, i just hope i can teach my son to be wise enough, that it's not the party or the cake that matters, it's the love of the people around him that's most important.
And the sad thing for me, is not that the fact the spent money that could feed a family for decades, but the fact that that news doesn't surprise me anymore. It doesn't mean that i condone this behavior and every time it happens i still wonder why on earth would they do that, but blowing big money for a party that the subject of the party doesn't even get to enjoy yet, is something more more common, here in Indonesia.
The news reminded me, few years ago my parent was invited for one year old birthday party, YES, you read it right for one year old! The invitation came under my parent name not under my nephew name even though he's also about the same age. The reason for the invite, the grandparent of the birthday boy is a friend of my parent, granted my parent don't really know the parent of the kid let alone the kid himself. The party was held in one of the five star hotel in Surabaya. Since my parent couldn't made it, so they sent me instead. As expected the party was a huge one, clowns on every corner of the hall, making balloon animals, juggling balls, doing magic tricks; a bouncy castle in the corner of the hall, never ending flow of food (the expensive menu not kiddy menu) and beverages, adults, including the parent of the boy, dress to the nine (yes, we are still at one yrs old bday party), gift piling high to the roof (literally) on the other corner of the hall, a 1 meter birthday cake on the other corner. The medieval theme decoration was stunningly beautiful. Every guest was given a big desk clock as a thank you gift. So was the little boy enjoying the party?....No one really knew...he was, accompanied by the nanny, asleep from the start of the party till almost the end, at his miniature "throne" on the stage. I didn't even know the kid name, not while i was in the party and not now. So the question is who's the party for? the kid or the parent?
As the question popped in my head, my 3 yrs old nephew, coming home from his pre-kiddie school, came in the house and immediately showed me his new t-shirt, lunch box set and a mug, each has some kind of name and a photo print on them. I asked where did he get them. He said it was a tq gift from one of his classmate. Turn out that one his classmate, a girl, was celebrating her 4th bday at the school. At first i wasn't very surprise, seeing all the goodies that she's given, because its customary here in Indonesia. When you are having a birthday party for your kids, the tq gift usually are personalize with the name of the birthday girl or boy. Even the simple goodies bag, which usually filled wit candies and snacks, has their name on them. But the different this time is that each of the t-shirt has the birthday girl name on the front, and on the back is personalize more with the recipient name. Also when i saw the lunch box set, i can see that it was not your dollar store set, it was the expensive ones. And of course since the bday girl's parent already spent a lot of money for her bday, you have to know her face, so they put her photo on the mug.
I wonder by the time all of those kids hit 5 yrs old what would they remember from this, will they remember that their parent spent a lot of money and probably time for they bday party? And if the parent already give such a lavish party when their were young, what kind of party would they asked when they hit 17 (in Indonesia we celebrate sweet seventeen not sixteen)?
I also remembered reading blogs from mommies, complaining that throwing a birthday party is longer as simple as, getting a cake, put up some balloon and cute pictures. It has become a big competition. It's hard not to, even if as a mom you can ignored how expensive or lavish the other kids parties are, but your kid might not. Imagine the kid in your son class who just happened to have his birthday 3 day before him, got a great party, complete with petting zoo, clowns, bouncy castle, magician and even a live professional singer, what do you think your son gonna say when you told him:" for this year birthday, you can invite all of your classmates, and well have a cake, some chicken nuggets and cupcakes."
Well, i just hope i can teach my son to be wise enough, that it's not the party or the cake that matters, it's the love of the people around him that's most important.
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